I used to walk this world blind. I used to let other people show me the way.
In college, I turned to my friends to help me decide on a major. In the early days of my career I let my colleagues alter my path.
I used to tell myself I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. It seemed to me that few did.
So naturally, I looked to my friends, family and co-workers for guidance.
This got me pretty far. It got me into sales. It got me a few promotions.
But did it get me any closer to finding the work I’m meant to do?
Did it get me any closer to my calling?
Then again, how could it? How could I expect others to know what was best for me?
How could I expect to find myself when everyone in my life was looking except for me?
In retrospect I can see my errors. Looking back, I can see how impossible this was.
And while I sit here today still in search of my calling, I can tell you one major thing has changed for me:
My eyes are finally open.
For the first time I can move about my day consciously. I can observe myself.
Whether I’m working, blogging or with friends, I can see my engagement levels alter. I can sense my mood swing.
I can feel which activities stimulate me and which put my brain on autopilot. I can feel what causes me anxiety and what gives me elation.
Each day I’m taking notes. Each day I’m experimenting.
What do I like about my job? What do I not like?
Which days am I happiest? Which days do I suffer?
How do I incorporate more of the good things and trim away the bad? How can I slowly morph my life into one where there are no bad days?
By learning to watch my mind and monitor my emotions I have been able to discover things about myself that I had been ignoring before.
I’ve learned that I love storytelling and presenting. I love coaching and helping others. I love exploring and leading people.
And with these realizations I have slowly been able to start testing out different variations of my ideal life.
Within my sales role I can tell my stories and give presentations. Through this blog I can coach. And through my travels abroad I can explore and then show others the way.
And while none of these have added up to one specific “calling,” I feel now that my path is becoming a bit clearer.
I am no longer walking through my days unconsciously. I am no longer letting others decide my life for me.
I have opened my eyes and taken my life into my own hands. I am finding the way for myself little by little.
It took me 27 years to get here, but I’m awake.
And all it took was a new kind of observation. Instead of observing the world as a bystander I began to observe the world and my participation within it.
You too can become an observer. You too can wake up. You too can fight for your calling.
As you move through your day start to take note of your engagement levels and mood swings.
If you get frustrated, ask yourself why. If become happy, ask why. If you find that you get lost in a certain task, ask why.
The key is to remain conscious and to be genuinely curious about yourself. Within this curiosity you may find some answers. You may take one tiny step closer to your calling.
You may discover the real you from deep within that was hiding from you for all these years.