I Can’t Forgive Myself – Fired Up Friday: Week 93
August 7, 2018
Consider This: I Can’t Forgive Myself

I consider myself a forgiving person. When I get bumped by a tourist in Manhattan, I ignore it. If a teammate of mine makes a mistake, I let it go. When a friend falls through on his promise, I forgive him.

I’m very good at forgiving all sorts of people in my life… co-workers, friends and family. It’s not in me to hold grudges or place blame. I don’t see what purpose it serves.

But there’s one person I can’t seem to ever forgive.


When I mess up at work or in my personal life I beat myself up. I criticize myself to no end. It’s like I expect by being hard on myself I will get better and never make the mistake again. But what about forgiving myself like I forgive everyone else in my life?

Why am I holding myself prisoner? Why can’t I love myself like I love everyone else?

I can see now that my happiness depends on forgiving myself. Without self-forgiveness I will doom myself to a life of misery. If I want to choose happiness I must choose to love myself.

Life Hack: Listen To Your Body

Can you think of an important life decision you had to make recently? How did you decide? Did you write up a list of pros and cons? Did you “brainstorm”?

We’re always looking to our mind to make a difficult decision. Our brain sifts through a problem endlessly until we’re tired of it and then just make a decision to end the pain.

But what if I told you the mind isn’t the only place you should look to when making a decision? What if I told you to listen to your body?

I attended a coach training course this week where I learned the power of incorporating “body awareness” into your decision-making process.

Next time you’re deliberating on an important life decision stand up and close your eyes. Then pretend that you’ve chosen one path and see how your body feels.Are your arms tingling? Does your skin loosen up? Now switch and pretend that you chose the other path.

Which path feels better?

Shut off the scrambled mind and listen to your body. Let it be your compass.


Career Hack: Don’t Lose Hope

If you’re anything like me, you probably rethink your career direction constantly. How did I get here? Is this what I should be doing with my life? Do I want to do this for 40 hours a week from now until… forever?

It’s easy to panic when the job you have doesn’t line up with “your dream job.” And it’s easy to get discouraged when the job you want doesn’t seem practical.

So how do you search for your dream job while working your current one to pay the bills?

It starts with small steps. Here’s a few simple things you can start doing now to explore your options that won’t take away from your day job:

  1. Join a weekly MeetUp in your city to network in a new field that interests you
  2. Volunteer for a cause you’re passionate about on the weekend
  3. Set up a coffee date or call with someone on your LinkedIn whose job intrigues you

These steps will act as little tests you can use to see what feels right. You should be thinking, “is this something I can see myself doing full-time?” and then if so “what’s my next step to getting there?”

Just because you’re in a career that doesn’t make sense for you now doesn’t mean you need to be in it forever. Start exploring and testing other options. Start telling your story to people.

It’ll be a process but the action itself may create new hope within you.


Quote of the Week:

“I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. It’s the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.” – Leonardo da Vinci


Subscribe: Want to get these personal growth tips and career resources weekly?  Fill in your name and email below to subscribe! 

View More Posts



By Brendan Barca ​​The Alcoholics Anonymous program has had a history of curing those with addictions. Throughout the world, it's helped alcoholics, drug addicts, and compulsive gamblers turn their life around. One of the program's famous slogans is "just for today."...

read more
The Priority Matrix

The Priority Matrix

When I was in sales I made one mistake over and over again. I would complete tasks in order of immediacy rather than in order of importance. If a prospect emailed me asking for information, I would email them back instantly thinking I had done a job well done. But I...

read more

Download Your FREE

Lifestyle Design Workbook

Prioritize the Essential. Eliminate the Noise. Take Back Your Life

Download the workbook now to discover the 5-Step Method to (re)design your work life

Download now